Ever tried to lift weights on your face, or signed up for a face-bulking program? Of course not, you can’t grow the muscles on your face and when the rest of the body is a rippling testament to how big a human can get, it starts to look a bit weird.
We highly recommend watching the video version of our article with star narrator Benny “The Handsome Salami” Loofah who we might need to fire because he keeps texting us dick pics (Seriously):
Really? We’re going to do Martyn Ford? Fine then. Martyn is perfectly proportioned and incredibly handsome. He’s also a very nice chap who we’re not afraid of at all and if he likes we’ll send him a gift basket filled with lava, or whatever he eats. Martyn Ford is 6’8″ and weighs 320 lb.
Ever seen a basketball balancing on top of a van? You have now. Chul Soon is a Korean bodybuilder, a national celebrity, eating machine and an obvious candidate for the ‘Lamest Profile Pic’ Award.
Markus Ruhl started training after getting injured playing soccer when he was 18. Now 45, he looks like a well-cooked steak with a pea balancing carefully on top. Also, the pea has blonde hair.
Now running the WBFF, Paul Dillet’s Instagram is packed with stunning woman and random motivational quotes for some reason, but back in the day, he was a beast. He also looked like his head had been shrunk in the dryer.
Is he the greatest of all time? Jay Cutler thinks so, and it’s hard to argue with 4 Mr Olympia titles hanging around his enormous neck…easily supporting that tiny head.
When Craig Golias was built (and we genuinely think that’s how he came to exist) his body was completed first, using the same amount of material as it takes to build a city bus. The head was completed separately with what little was left and now it just hangs out on the body, not doing much but having a nice time all the same.
Morgan Aste is what happens when an already huge dude wonders, “How massive can I get without damaging the earth’s crust?” While there’s no evidence that Aste hasn’t caused a few earthquakes, one things for sure – his head wasn’t responsible for the damage.
Now, don’t get us wrong, Big Ramy’s got a massive head. We’re not saying that his head is small in any way, but it is a tiny little spec of dust when compared to the rest of him. His massive head is smaller than his colossal arms – that ain’t right.
Phil Heath looks like a school muscle chart, except there are some extra muscles that aren’t supposed to exist on the human body. When you look at Heath from behind, his head looks like another muscle attached to his shoulders.
Victor Martinez is a monster. The great Ronnie Coleman once said that he was a succeed him as Mr Olympia, but…Phil Heath. Martinez is so big he sometimes looks a bit like his body is close, but his head is way off in the distance.